Directness when used like this can be such an asset, because it builds trust and may in fact invoke confidence in return. Once a good friend invited me to a comedy show; because I find that performer crass, I simply said I’m “not that into him,” sandwiched between “thanks” and would love to “see you soon regardless!” It helped her because she wasn’t really that into that comedian either but was just using that as an opportunity for an outing. She confided, and we ended up enjoying a lovely dinner together instead!
That's a great example of how explaining (even vaguely) why you're saying no can lead to a better solution. And that happens all the time in friend-type situations, where each person is trying to anticipate what the other wants, so one says, "Let's grab dinner in your neighborhood so it will be convenient for you," and the other says, "No, I can come to your neighborhood and we can go to that new restaurant you've been wanting to try," and they're both trying to please each other, but in fact what they would both prefer is a pajama movie night.
Directness when used like this can be such an asset, because it builds trust and may in fact invoke confidence in return. Once a good friend invited me to a comedy show; because I find that performer crass, I simply said I’m “not that into him,” sandwiched between “thanks” and would love to “see you soon regardless!” It helped her because she wasn’t really that into that comedian either but was just using that as an opportunity for an outing. She confided, and we ended up enjoying a lovely dinner together instead!
That's a great example of how explaining (even vaguely) why you're saying no can lead to a better solution. And that happens all the time in friend-type situations, where each person is trying to anticipate what the other wants, so one says, "Let's grab dinner in your neighborhood so it will be convenient for you," and the other says, "No, I can come to your neighborhood and we can go to that new restaurant you've been wanting to try," and they're both trying to please each other, but in fact what they would both prefer is a pajama movie night.