Who's your negotiation role model?
Hello dear Newsletter Friends!
This month, a small assignment for you, should you choose to accept. Think about the following:
Who are your negotiation role models?
Why do you admire them?
What can you learn from them?
We all have role models for different aspects of our lives — style icons, nurturing parents, ambitious leaders, creative visionaries. We don’t want to be just like them, but they have strengths in areas we’d like to develop ourselves.
Here are some of my negotiation role models:
My sister-in-law, whose take-no-prisoners negotiation style leaves people in tears. (Not our family. Thank goodness she’s on our side.)
What I admire about her as a negotiator: In a transactional negotiation, she maximizes her gains and does not care what her negotiating partner thinks about her. It’s nearly the opposite of my cooperative style. But we all need to switch it up sometimes.
What I’ve learned from her: The phrase “That is not acceptable,” which I have incorporated into my “saying no” repertoire. And to push my comfort zone is asking for things that might seem outrageous.Elizabeth Zott, the main character of Bonnie Garmus’s excellent novel Lessons in Chemistry, who navigates 1950s California as a single mother and female scientist.
What I admire about her as a negotiator: She says plainly what she wants, and takes herself seriously when no one else will. When faced with powerful men used to getting their way, Elizabeth Zott refuses to make a single concession. No smile. No softening.
What I’ve learned from her: Her unapologetic insistence that her work is important, even when nobody else agrees. In a negotiation, remembering your own value is critical. You can’t effectively advocate for yourself while also downplaying your value. And if all else fails, carry a big knife.My former boss, the general counsel of a state agency, who deals with a million and one completely different issues on a daily basis.
What I admire about her as a negotiator: Every few minutes, someone bursts into her office with an emergency. She never gets ruffled. She handles each situation calmly, and each person respectfully. Each person feels like their problem is important and is being handled.
What I’ve learned from her: To give people my full attention even in the midst of chaos. To be the calm in the middle of the chaos.
How about you? What real or fictional people inspire you with their communication and problem-solving abilities, and what can you learn from them?
