Trailers: what to watch next on Netflix?

Which movie should I watch next? I checked out some Netflix trailers to help decide.

• Single All the Way: Guy asks his best friend to pose as his boyfriend so his family will think he’s in a relationship when he goes home for Christmas.  But then his mom sets him up on a blind date? I don’t understand this premise. Did the family not believe him about the boyfriend? Or did he just never tell them? If he never told them, it’s not a fake dating movie, right? But then I guess it turns out the guy and the BFF are secretly in love and the family is rooting for them to get together. Looks cute but not wacky enough for me to love.

• Love Hard: Big city writer gets catfished and thinks she’s online dating Paxton from Never Have I Ever. The catfishing guy offers to help her snag the real Paxton, and in return she poses as the catfishing guy’s girlfriend. Looks like a good movie, but too romantic for me. Pass.

• The Princess Switch 3:  Romancing the Star. The Star of Peace has been stolen. The identical princess and baker find a third doppelganger who’s evil! She and her evil squad are going to steal the star back. Okay, now we’re getting closer.

• The Princess Switch 2: Switched Again. This looks so, so boring. Baker and princess switch places so that the princess can re-fall in love with the baker’s friend who she dated before. Oh wait, the evil doppelganger is here! She’s the princess’s cousin, I guess. And she’s wearing black leather pants like biker Sandy in Grease. “Off with their heads,” she laughs at the end. Tell me about it, stud.

• A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby. I couldn’t get past the first thirty seconds of this trailer, with the gorgeous pregnant blonde queen. Unless aliens abduct her or the baby turns out to be a baby giraffe or something, hard pass.

• Father Christmas is Back: There are a lot of famous people in this movie. Kelsey Grammar was their father and he abandoned them on Christmas day, but now he’s back with a young blonde girlfriend. Family drama and lots of yelling ensues. Nope.

• The Knight Before Christmas: Wait, Vanessa Hudgens is in this too! She’s also the princess, the baker, and the evil doppelganger in the Princess Switch movies. Blergh, more romance. Either her boyfriend gets hit on the head and thinks he’s a knight, or an actual knight traveled back in time? I think it’s the time-travel. “You can achieve anything if you want it badly enough,” Vanessa tells the knight. He can return to the 14th century and spread that wisdom. Meh. But Jessica keeps talking up this movie and she has good taste. Maybe.

There must be a non-romantic holiday movie that is not an animated or saccharine children’s movie! Help me, Netflix.

• The App That Stole Christmas: I’m not sure what’s going on in this trailer. A guy is passed out on the floor and another guy is yelling at him about phones. He wakes up in an elf costume. The movie is only 63 minutes, so maybe worth watching to find out.

• Holly Star: The description sounds promising – a broke puppeteer digs for hidden treasure – but the trailer is so slow.

• Holiday in the Wild: Is that Rob Lowe and Charlotte from Sex and the City? Her husband divorces her and she goes to Zambia on what was supposed to be their second honeymoon. Rob Lowe turns out to be the sexy pilot. They have to save elephants from bad poachers! Rob Lowe is shirtless for some reason. “Leave your past, find your place” is the tagline.

Based on this trailer viewing, I’m thinking The App That Stole Christmas. Coming soon!