Goodbye Christmas, Hello Negotiation
Hello Newsletter Friends old and new!
New Newsletter Friends: welcome! You’re probably here after reading my Negotiation Tips for Writers from Nicole Chung’s Atlantic newsletter. I’m teaching my next free online class 10/15 – please sign up if you’re interested!
Good old Newsletter Friends: surprise! No more 24 Days of Christmas. As many of you know, I’ve been teaching negotiation and am now working on a book proposal on negotiation strategies for those of us who are anxious or conflict-averse. I’m not great at staying on-topic so this newsletter is still likely to contain book recommendations, silliness, photos of a rock I saw, and of course, Important Discoveries.
Next Class: Sat 10/15 2-4 p.m. Eastern
I’ll be offering my next FREE online negotiation basics class on Saturday, October 15, 2-4 p.m. Eastern.
Sign up here, and here’s a summary of my approach and what we’ll cover.
At its most basic: We are all able to have a conversation. Negotiation is a conversation where we’re agreeing on an outcome. It doesn’t have to be an argument, and it doesn’t have to be scary! We’ll practice together.
Negotiation Tip of the Month: Do nothing.
A relative called me, panicking. They had just received a nasty lawyer letter demanding that they fill out a form that might implicate them in a lawsuit.
I asked: what happens if you don’t respond?
Can I do that? they asked.
They ignored the letter. Nothing happened.
If you’re in a situation where you’re faced with bad choices, or you’ve received a demand with which you’re not willing to comply, ask yourself two questions:
Am I legally or ethically obligated to respond?
What are the consequences if I don’t respond?
If the answers are that you have no obligation to respond, and probably nothing bad will happen… leave it alone! You don’t have to say no. You don’t have to set boundaries. Just do nothing.
What I’m Reading and Listening To
Reading these books that deal with sexual harassment in wildly different ways:
Complaint! by Sara Ahmed. Fascinating nonfiction book about how the person complaining about harassment is seen as the problem, and is forced to relive and litigate the problem against a bureaucracy whose main goal is preservation of the institution. Even the word “complaint” implicates the complainer as a person who’s causing trouble.
Nothing But The Truth by Holly M. James. Light, funny, escapist, feminist romcom. Hollywood publicist Lucy drinks a strange cocktail that renders her unable to lie, upending her life and career – especially when she blurts out that her boss has been harassing her for years. Her revolution sparks a mini-revolution in the office, and she still has time to kiss a hot bartender, confront her mom, and land a new celebrity client.
Listening to these master classes in comedy:
Roy Wood Jr’s standup special, Imperfect Messenger, available free (audio only) on the Daily Show podcast, with video on Comedy Central. Storytelling, pacing, drama, lots of laughs, fearless and incisive jokes about race, and a central theme of trying to feel good during the pandemic – both writers and performers can learn a lot from this one.
Vulture’s Good One podcast with Robin Thede: deep dive into her “What Up, I’m Three” sketch from A Black Lady Sketch Show, with lots of process details about sketch writing.
Newsletter Friends, what are you reading and listening to lately? What do you want to learn about negotiation? Are you mad about the lack of Christmas in this newsletter? I love hearing from you, so drop me a line here or at @piaowens on Twitter.
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